Whether you’re enjoying Christmas Eve drinks or pushing a trolley round Tesco with your mum, you’re bound to run into acquaintances from years gone by and before you can reminisce and ease back into normal conversation prepare to hold some, if not all, of these awkward conversations…
- The ‘How’s uni/job?’ conversation.
Extra points if you can remember where they actually go to uni and what they study or where and what their job is.
- The ‘So, what do you do?’ conversation.
A more vague take on question number 1. Useful if you can’t remember anything the person has done past the age of 17 or expect they might be unemployed.
- The ‘Are you enjoying it?’ conversation.
The most common follow up question to both 1. and 2. If they say yes you have to listen to them gloat or gush for a few minutes while you umm and ahhh.
If they say no then a popular response is ‘Don’t worry you’re only young. You have a life time to find what you want to do.’
Sometimes it’s also helpful to add that Oprah Winfrey was once fired from a job and then went on to become Oprah Winfrey.
- The ‘Are you seeing anyone right now?’ conversation.
A question which must be carefully and tactfully worded.
The last thing you want is for them to think you’ve taken a fancy to them.
And if they say no they might get defensive as to why they’re single.
Or if they’re in a relationship you’ll be made to see a picture of them and their other half on a camel abroad and enthuse about how good looking they are as a couple.
- The ‘Do you still go out with (insert name)?’ conversation.
Best case scenario they say yes and invite you to their upcoming nuptials.
More often than not they say no and tell you their ex boyfriend left them for another man or go into details about the break-up.
If so then a popular response is ‘Don’t worry you’re only young. You have a life time to find the right person for you.’
Sometimes it’s also helpful to add that Jennifer Aniston is now happily married despite breaking up with Brad Pitt.
- The ‘How are your parents/brother/sister?’ conversation.
Chances are you have vague memories of their mum, she maybe gave you a lift home once seven years ago.
Just hope their family home didn’t burn to the ground and their dog you petted once at a party is still alive.
- The ‘I used to fancy you.’ conversation.
Not really a question but a conversation starter/killer none the less.
Bear in mind the ‘used to’ might come across slightly offensive and leave them wondering why your heart no longer beats for only them.
Also make sure not to say this in front of their new partner or laugh at the fact you ever found them attractive.
- The ‘Do you still speak to many people from school/home?’ conversation.
Always a bit of a dangerous question.
If they say ‘yes nearly everyone’ then you will be left wondering why they don’t speak to you.
If they say no they give off the impression they don’t actually like anyone, including you, and want you to go and ask your questions elsewhere.
- The ‘Do you come home often?’ conversation.
Similar to 8. and always a bit awkward.
They might think you’re suggesting to meet up more or hinting that they don’t visit their mum enough.
Chances are if they say no and you live at home you’ll be mildly offended.
- The ‘Who are you?’
Sometimes try as hard you might you just can’t remember everyone.
Fingers crossed you’re not the one whose been forgotten but maybe that’s better than trying to hold a conversation with someone who knows your entire life and you don’t even know their name?